Rasika Karkare 
Panic and anxiety attacks can be overwhelming experiences, often leaving individuals feeling scared, helpless, and disconnected from their surroundings. Whether you are experiencing one yourself or supporting a loved one through it, knowing how to respond effectively can make a significant difference. This article explores what anxiety attacks look like, how to manage them through self-talk, and how to support someone going through one—even over text.
Understanding Anxiety Attacks
An anxiety attack is an intense period of fear and discomfort accompanied by physical and emotional symptoms. These can include a racing heart, shortness of breath, trembling, and a sense of impending doom. While anxiety attacks can be quite uncomfortable, developing effective coping mechanisms can help manage their impact.
How To Talk Yourself Out Of An Anxiety Attack
One of the ways to manage anxiety attacks is to practice effective self-talk and self-compassion. Here are a few ways in which you can help yourself during an anxiety attack.
Acknowledge and Accept
The first step in talking yourself out of an anxiety attack is to acknowledge its presence. Many times, people try to stop their anxious thoughts or try hard to not feel anxious, which can only make these thoughts and feelings worse. Instead, practice looking at anxious thoughts without judgement. Accept that you are experiencing anxiety and that it is a manageable condition. Remind yourself that it's okay to feel anxious and that your feelings are valid.
Breathing Exercises
Anxiety in any form not only affects the mind but also the body. So the second and most important step in managing an anxiety attack is to reduce the physical symptoms of anxiety. One way to manage physical symptoms is through breathing exercises. Practice deep breathing exercises to calm the nervous system. Inhale slowly through your nose, hold your breath for a few seconds, and exhale gently through your mouth. Deep breathing can help the body feel calmer by increasing the oxygen supply. Once the body is calm, it will be easier to actively work on challenging anxious thoughts as well.
Challenge Negative Self-Talk
Anxiety attacks can often be a result of negative thought patterns or harsh self-talk. Therefore, noticing how you are currently talking to yourself is critical. If you find yourself indulging in negative thoughts, try to challenge them by questioning their validity. Ask yourself if there is evidence supporting these thoughts or if they are based on assumptions and fears. Then, mindfully replace these negative thoughts with more balanced perspectives.
Grounding Exercises
Grounding exercises help bring your mind back to the present moment. Focus on your senses by identifying and describing what you see in your environment. Try to engage all your senses as much as possible. You can also try grounding yourself by mentally counting backwards, smelling something pleasant, or remembering a positive memory from the recent past. Remember, the goal is to disengage from the cycle of anxious thoughts by being in the present.
Use Affirmations
Affirmations are positive statements that you can repeat to encourage yourself during stressful or difficult situations. You can develop your own set of affirmations and have them saved on your phone so that they are accessible to you at all times. Mindfully repeat these affirmations during an anxiety attack to shift your mindset and build a more positive internal dialogue. A few examples of affirmations are:
- I am safe
- This will pass soon
- I have overcome anxiety before, and I can handle this
How to Help Someone During an Anxiety Attack Over Text
It can be difficult to respond when a friend or loved one reaches out to you during an anxiety attack, especially if you are not in the same room. However, extending emotional support via texting can still be an effective way to provide help and comfort someone in times of need. Here are some suggestions on how you can use texting to comfort someone while they are experiencing an anxiety attack:
Ask them if they are physically safe
Anxiety attacks can lead to feelings of uncertainty and a lack of safety. Thus, it is important to ensure that your friend or loved one is in a safe place, as being in a stressful place like a crowd might make them even more anxious. Ask them to get to a safer, quieter place if possible. You can also ensure that they feel emotionally safe and comfortable with you by saying something like, 'You are safe; I am here for you'. or 'I am glad you reached out; we can get through this'.
Offer to listen to them
When our friends or loved ones are in distress, we often want to help them right away. However, experiencing an anxiety attack can be overwhelming and exhausting. Instead of attempting to solve everything, it may be better to simply be present for them and allow them to express their feelings. Sometimes they just need someone to listen and are not looking for a solution right away.
Validate their emotions
Validating is when you accept someone's thoughts and feelings as they are without making any judgments. Validating a person's feelings makes them feel accepted and understood, which can be beneficial during an anxiety attack. "It's fine to feel scared", 'I know it is scary for you right now, but I am here for you,' for example, could be very helpful.
Help them feel Grounded
When someone goes through an anxiety attack, they often feel disconnected from their surroundings. Encouraging your loved one to take a few deep breaths can be helpful in this situation. You can also encourage them to talk about the things that they find calming or just breathe with them.
Wait for them to respond
Once you have offered to listen to your loved one, give them some space to decide if they want to talk about the issue. It can be overwhelming if you keep checking in on them repeatedly. Let them take the lead, and reassure them that you are available whenever they are ready to talk.
Reassure them
Keep reassuring them that you will be with them until they are feeling better. A good way to reassure is to say something like, 'We will get through this'. Using 'we' conveys to them that they are not alone.
What to avoid while supporting someone through an anxiety attack over text?
- Avoid trivializing the feelings of the person you are texting, as it might make the situation worse for them.
- Avoid telling them to ''just be positive'' or to ''snap out of it''.
Conclusion
Talking yourself out of an anxiety attack is a skill that takes time to develop. The key, however, is to keep practising and encouraging yourself. Remember that talking yourself out of anxiety also requires self-compassion and acceptance of feelings without judgment, so try being compassionate and non-judgmental to yourself as much as possible.
Similarly, supporting someone experiencing an anxiety attack over text requires empathy, patience, and a non-judgmental approach. Through listening, validation, and reassurance, you can be really helpful to the person in distress. Also, remember to stay calm and take care of yourself while supporting your loved one through their stressful time. At the end of the day, you also have to remember that you can not be their therapist. Your help will have limitations. Hence, after you have offered primary support, ask them to seek professional help or accompany them to a therapist's office.
References
Abundance No Limits. (n.d.). How to help someone having a panic attack over text? Retrieved October 9, 2023, from https://www.abundancenolimits.com/how-to-help-someone-having-a-panic-attack-over-text/
Body and Soul. (2021, January 6). What to never, ever text a loved one with anxiety. https://www.bodyandsoul.com.au/mind-body/wellbeing/what-to-text-and-not-to-text-to-a-loved-one-with-anxiety/news-story/d4281effc171355d42800e0326b1bca7
Calm Clinic. (n.d.). Types of positive self talk during anxiety attacks. Retrieved January 12, 2024, from https://www.calmclinic.com/anxiety/attacks/positive-self-talk
Medical News Today. (2020, July 22). How to stop a panic attack: 13 effective methods. https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/321510
NHS Inform. (n.d.). How to deal with panic attacks. Retrieved January 12, 2024, from https://www.nhsinform.scot/healthy-living/mental-wellbeing/anxiety-and-panic/how-to-deal-with-panic-attacks/
Psych Central. (2022, April 25). Positive affirmations for anxiety: Reframing your worry to calm down. https://psychcentral.com/anxiety/affirmations-for-anxiety
Therapist Pages. (2023, March 17). How to help someone with anxiety over text—(8 comforting text messages). https://therapistpages.com/how-to-help-someone-with-anxiety-over-text/