All of us tend to reflect on our mistakes from time to time. It can help us learn and grow as well. However, if someone constantly feels or believes that they are making a mistake or doing something wrong all the time, then it might be cause for concern. It can affect almost all areas of their lives, including work, family and other relationships. In this article, we will discuss reasons why some people feel that they are always doing something wrong and also look at ways to overcome it.

The constant belief that one might have done something wrong is sometimes also known as the guilt complex. There are many reasons why some people have this belief; some of them are:

  • Negative Self-Talk

Our self-talk is the way we talk to ourselves. Our self-talk often affects how we feel about ourselves. People who believe that they are always doing something wrong or making a mistake may have overly harsh or critical self-talk. While constructive criticism can help us grow, being overly critical of ourselves can shatter our confidence, leading to issues such as low self-esteem. Ironically, low self-esteem puts us at risk of making more mistakes, thus creating a vicious cycle of self-criticism, 

  • Perfectionism

People who struggle with perfectionistic tendencies may also feel that they are constantly doing something wrong. This is because they often set unrealistically high standards for themselves, and when they aren’t able to meet these ‘near perfect’ standards, they end up feeling that they did something wrong. 

  • Comparison With Others

Constant comparison with others might lead us to believe that we are always doing something wrong. This is because constant comparison with others might leave us with feelings of dissatisfaction and inadequacy about ourselves, leading to increased self-doubt and increased self-doubt might make us believe that we are constantly doing something wrong.

  • Childhood Experiences

Our childhood experiences play a huge part in how we think and feel about ourselves. If a child grows up in a household where they are always criticized or made to feel guilty about their mistakes, they may continue to believe that they are constantly doing something wrong, even as adults.

  • Lack of Self-awareness

Some people may find it hard to acknowledge any positives within themselves; this is primarily due to a lack of self-awareness. When we focus all our attention on our mistakes while disregarding our positive qualities, we are more likely to feel as if we always do something wrong.

Dealing With Excessive Guilt and Negative Self- Talk

Coping with excessive feelings of guilt or the thought that you always end up doing something wrong is overwhelming. However, one can overcome this thought by using the strategies mentioned below,

  • Increase Self-Awareness

The first step to overcoming excessive guilt is to increase self-awareness. Start by reflecting on and acknowledging your positive qualities and your achievements. If you are finding it hard to see the positives within yourself, you can ask your friends and family for help.

  • Challenge Negative Self-Talk

Focus on changing the negative self-talk by replacing negative thoughts with more realistic and positive ones. This can be done by constantly reminding yourself of your strengths and practising positive affirmations.

  • Cultivate Acceptance of Mistakes

All of us make mistakes. In fact, they are a normal part of the process of learning. Practice accepting your mistakes without critical judgment. This can be done by setting realistic expectations for yourself and letting go of perfectionism.

  • Seek Professional Help

Working with excessive guilt and self-criticism can often be overwhelming. If you constantly feel like you are doing something wrong and are finding it hard to overcome it, consider consulting a therapist. A therapist can help you reach the root causes of this belief and will also help you develop strategies to overcome it.

Conclusion:

The constant feeling of doing something wrong is often a result of various factors such as perfectionism, critical self-talk, negative childhood experiences and constant comparison with others. By increasing self-awareness, practising positive affirmation, challenging negative thoughts and seeking support when needed, we can learn that mistakes are a part of life and don’t define who we are.

Want to know more about how to deal with negative self-talk? click here to check out our article on self-compassion

References:

  1. 10 reasons you feel like everything you do is wrong, according to psychology. (2023, March 30). A Conscious Rethink. https://www.aconsciousrethink.com/22447/everything-i-do-is-wrong/
  2. What Is a Guilt Complex? (n.d.-a). Retrieved February 9, 2024, from https://www.choosingtherapy.com/guilt-complex/
  3. What Is a Guilt Complex? (n.d.-b). Verywell Mind. Retrieved February 9, 2024, from https://www.verywellmind.com/guilt-complex-definition-symptoms-traits-causes-treatment-5115946

Dhruva Koranne

Dhruva Koranne has completed his Masters in Applied Psychology from Tata Institute of Social Sciences, BALM. He has been practicing as a counsellor since 2020 and works to create a safe space for clients where they can open up. In addition to this, Dhruva loves researching and studying about upcoming theories in the field of Psychology. Connect with him on Linkedin