It’s quite common for our minds to get caught up in overthinking following a disagreement or a fight. The continuous replay of the argument can contribute to heightened stress and tension. While reflecting on the argument might be helpful, overthinking can lead to a lot of negative thoughts, leading to added stress. Thus, learning to stop overthinking after a fight is essential for maintaining healthy relationships and mental well-being. Let us explore some strategies for the same

  • Acknowledge and Accept Your Emotions

The first step in stopping overthinking is acknowledging and accepting the emotions triggered by the fight. It’s natural to feel a range of emotions, including anger, frustration, or sadness. Permit yourself to experience these emotions without judgment. Accepting your feelings allows you to move forward and clear your mind while denying feelings can lead to pent-up emotions, which makes overthinking even worse

  • Practice Self-Compassion

It can be very tempting to blame yourself for fighting or even for experiencing difficult emotions after a fight. However, self-blame or criticism can invite a lot of negative thoughts, leading to a spiral of overthinking. Thus, treat yourself with compassion and kindness by taking care of yourself. Taking care of yourself can mean anything from walking to making yourself a cup of tea, etc.

  • Avoid Blaming The Other Person

Just like blaming yourself can result in overthinking, blaming the other person can cause us to spiral into negative thoughts and uncomfortable emotions as well. Instead, focus on finding a constructive solution to the issue. This helps you move towards resolution instead of keeping you stuck in rumination and overthinking.

  • Set Realistic Expectations

Staying away or not speaking to your loved one after a fight can be difficult, and it may also contribute to overthinking. However, it is important to know that conflict resolution can take time as everyone processes their emotions differently. So give yourself and the other person enough time to reflect without the pressure of finding a quick resolution. Pressuring yourself or the other person into a resolution can contribute to overthinking.

  • Write Your Thoughts

Keeping thoughts in our minds can only invite more confusion and overthinking. Instead, write your thoughts down in a journal. Writing can help you express yourself and also organize your thoughts. It will also help you identify your feelings.

  • Practice Mindfulness

Mindfulness is the act of consciously bringing your attention to the present moment. It is one of the most effective ways to beat overthinking. One way to practice mindfulness is by focusing on deep breathing exercises such as belly breathing or box breathing. Alternatively, you can also try listening to a guided meditation recording to help you in the mindfulness process. Another way to practice mindfulness is to visualize a recent happy memory or your favourite place in detail while simultaneously taking deep breaths. All these activities can help induce a sense of calm and reduce overthinking.

  • Open Communication

Overthinking often arises when there is a lack of communication or misinterpretation of intentions. Encourage open and honest communication with your loved ones. Share your feelings and concerns, and actively listen to their perspective. Honest communication can help avoid misunderstandings and lead you towards a constructive resolution

  • Talk To A Supportive Friend

Talking to a supportive friend can help you open up and talk about your emotions while also making you feel heard and validated, which can help you reduce overthinking.

Conclusion:

Overthinking is often a common response after an argument with a loved one. While reflection can help, overthinking can be detrimental to your relationships. Acknowledging your emotions, practising mindfulness, practising self-compassion and open communication are some ways to stop overthinking. However, if you see overthinking negatively impacting yourself and your relationships, consider talking to a trained therapist about the same.

References:

  1. 6 Easy Ways to Stop Overthinking Every Little Thing (and Just Enjoy…. (2017, June 1). The Muse. https://www.themuse.com/advice/6-easy-ways-to-stop-overthinking-every-little-thing-and-just-enjoy-your-life
  2. Overcoming Post Argument Anxiety: Dealing with Conflict. (2023, June 26). https://fitcyhealth.com/advice/anxiety/post-argument-anxiety/

Dhruva Koranne

Dhruva Koranne has completed his Masters in Applied Psychology from Tata Institute of Social Sciences, BALM. He has been practicing as a counsellor since 2020 and works to create a safe space for clients where they can open up. In addition to this, Dhruva loves researching and studying about upcoming theories in the field of Psychology. Connect with him on Linkedin