I am sure all of us have been there at some point- staring at our phone screens, checking and rechecking our notifications, anxiously scanning for a reply from our friends, family members or romantic partner. Some feelings of anxiety and nervousness are quite normal as our brains are wired to seek certainty and safety, while a lack of replies triggers feelings of uncertainty and potential threat, but if these feelings become constant, they can negatively impact your physical and mental health and even strain your relationships. This article explores the root of anxiety behind unanswered texts while also discussing ways to deal with it effectively
Why do I get anxiety when people ignore my texts?
There might be multiple reasons why you feel anxious when someone doesn’t text you back. They are:
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Instant gratification
When someone replies to our texts instantly, it releases a chemical called dopamine in our brains. Dopamine creates a feeling of satisfaction and instant gratification. So, when we’re feeling anxious, waiting for a text is like anticipating a boost of happiness from our brain’s dopamine, while not receiving a text denies dopamine.
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Worried about the other person
Sometimes, we might feel anxious because we are concerned about the other person’s whereabouts and well-being.
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Fear of Rejection
The delay in receiving a text response may trigger a fear of rejection. You might be worried that the lack of replies implies that the other person isn’t interested in talking to you or has certain negative feelings towards you.
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Previous negative experiences
Past experiences of being ignored or ghosted can create a heightened sense of anxiety or worry about receiving delayed replies, as you might be worried about having a similar negative experience once again.
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Lack of face-to-face interaction
Texting can be a challenging form of communication, as it lacks direct interaction. Lack of direct interaction also means that we have little to no idea about how the other person is reacting or feeling about the message. This uncertainty about how the other person interprets your messages may be a cause of anxiety.
How to overcome anxiety about unanswered texts?
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Avoid difficult conversations. over texts
Lack of face-to-face interactions can make having a difficult conversation over text even more challenging. Miscommunication over texts can lead to a heightened sense of anxiety. Thus, it might be helpful to reserve difficult or serious topics for in-person interactions.
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Have an honest conversation
Discuss with your friends and loved ones how you feel about receiving late replies. By talking about your feelings openly, you can invite their thoughts and ideas and see how they might be able to help you.
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Understand Communication Styles
Everyone has different styles and preferences for communicating with others. Some people might feel more comfortable on a call, while others might rely on texting. Understanding communication differences can help you create acceptance for late replies.
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Ask for clarification
If a text message you have sent is making you nervous, it might be a good idea to ask the other person for clarification regarding how they feel about it. Seeking clarification helps you avoid miscommunication.
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Limit screen time
The more time we spend on social media, the more anxiety it can cause about unanswered texts. Limiting time on social media and screen time can allow you to reflect on your feelings about texting while also giving you time to engage in other meaningful activities. Engaging in other hobbies can also help cope with anxiety.
Conclusion:
Anxiety triggered by an unanswered text is quite common in the digital age. You can start overcoming this anxiety by having honest conversations with your loved ones about your feelings, seeking clarification and limiting your time on social media. If anxiety about unanswered texts causes significant, long periods of distress, it can be a sign of underlying issues that need to be addressed with the help of a professional. Click here to book a session with our expert psychologists right away.
References
- Ashton, P. (2022, March 25). Get Anxiety When Someone Doesn’t Text Back? (Texting Anxiety Explained). Self Development Journey. https://selfdevelopmentjourney.com/anxiety-when-someone-doesnt-text-back/
- Texting Anxiety: What It Is & How to Deal With It. (n.d.). Choosing Therapy. Retrieved January 4, 2024, from https://www.choosingtherapy.com/texting-anxiety/
