Friendships are integral to our lives, providing companionship, support, and shared experiences. However, there are instances where we may suddenly feel uncomfortable around a friend. Understanding the reasons behind these uncomfortable feelings is key to building long-lasting friendships. In this article, we will explore common reasons why we may feel sudden discomfort around friends and discuss a few ways to overcome this challenge.
Understanding Sudden Discomfort Around A Friend
Sudden feelings of discomfort around a friend can be puzzling. However, there are many reasons why one might feel this way. A few common reasons are:
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Changes in Friendship
Like any other relationship, friendships also evolve over time, depending on the circumstances. When a person experiences significant changes in their life, career and circumstances, it can also affect their friendship dynamics. Sudden changes in a close friend’s life can feel overwhelming for us as well, contributing to a sense of discomfort
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Social Comparison
Our minds are complex, and thus, they continue to process a lot of information unconsciously. Sometimes we may start to feel sudden discomfort around a friend because our minds might be unconsciously comparing us with them, leading to feelings of jealousy, sadness or envy.
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They Crossed Your Boundaries
It’s common to make jokes and have fun around friends, but sometimes they may unknowingly make jokes or say something that is emotionally overwhelming for you. When boundaries are violated in any form, be it a lack of personal space, making fun of you, etc., it can give rise to sudden discomfort.
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Imbalance in Friendship
Sometimes friends might constantly want us to be available and listen to them. When one person consistently relies on the other for emotional support without reciprocating or respecting boundaries, it can create imbalance and strain in the friendship. This constant demand for support may make us feel overwhelmed, contributing to feelings of discomfort in the friendship.
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Unresolved Issues
Unresolved conflicts or unaddressed issues within a friendship can lead to discomfort. If you have experienced misunderstandings, disagreements or trust issues within a friendship in recent times, it can lead to unresolved issues such as repressed anger or hurt. These unresolved feelings can cause sudden feelings of discomfort.
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Change in Friend’s Behavior
Sudden or unexpected shifts in your friend’s behaviour or attitude can trigger discomfort. If they start acting differently, becoming distant, or displaying behaviours that are out of character, it may leave you feeling uneasy.
How To Overcome Discomfort Around Friends?
Here are a few ways one can address discomfort around a friend:
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Reflect
Take time to reflect and look for the source of your discomfort. When you know why you are feeling uncomfortable, you can take steps towards change.
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Be Honest
It might sound difficult, but honest and open communication is key to resolving discomfort in a friendship. Express your feelings to your friend in a non-confrontational manner and create a safe space for conversations and understanding.
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Create Boundaries
Appropriate boundaries are important for mutual respect and understanding in the relationship. Thus, clearly communicate your boundaries and expectations within the friendship.
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Professional Help
If you see that the discomfort in friendship persists and starts affecting your mental and physical health and well-being, consider seeking help from a therapist. A therapist can help you understand and navigate this discomfort in your friendship.
Conclusion:
Sudden discomfort around a friend can be concerning, but it is essential to address these feelings if you wish to continue the friendship. Sudden discomfort may arise from various reasons, such as changes in dynamics, changes in your friend’s behaviour, lack of boundaries, etc. Through open conversations and appropriate boundaries, we can work towards setting strong foundations for long-term friendship.
References:
- Morin, D. A., B.Sc, V. S., B.A., Watkins, N., & M.Sc. (2020, October 9). How to Stop Feeling Uncomfortable Around People (+Examples). SocialSelf. https://socialself.com/blog/uncomfortable-around-people/
- Why does being around certain people make us uncomfortable? – Milestones Co. (n.d.). Retrieved February 7, 2024, from https://milestones.co/why-does-being-around-certain-people-make-us-uncomfortable/
