Opening up about our feelings is an essential aspect of emotional well-being, it also helps us form deepr connections with ourselves and others. However, talking about their emotions can be challenging for many people. In this article, we will explore some common reasons behind feeling uneasy about expressing feelings and also discuss a few ways to overcome this challenge.
Why is It Difficult For Us To Open Up?
There are many reasons why some people find it difficult to open up. Some common reasons are:
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Fear of Judgement
One of the primary reasons people feel uncomfortable discussing their feelings is the fear of judgment. We are concerned about how other people will perceive and respond to our emotions. Some people may also believe that others might see them as ‘weak’ or that others might make fun of them if they talk about their feelings.
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Personality
Our ability and comfort to talk about our feelings also come from our personalities. Some people can talk to almost anyone, and others are naturally more reserved when it comes to sharing their feelings. It’s important to know that both styles of communication are okay, and it ultimately depends on your comfort.
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Past Experiences
Past experiences also determine our comfort with sharing our feelings. Past negative experiences, such as being dismissed, ridiculed, or invalidated when expressing emotions, can contribute to discomfort. These experiences may create a reluctance to share feelings and may even lead us to believe that talking about our feelings can lead to potential harm.
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Social Norms
Culture and society, knowingly or unknowingly, play a huge role in our ability and willingness to talk about our feelings. In some cultures, talking about our feelings may be considered inappropriate. Thus, people may not feel comfortable talking about their emotions. Emotional expression is influenced by gender as well. For ex- In India, men are not taught or encouraged to express their emotions. This has led to a lot of societal stigma around men’s emotions.
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Upbringing
Expressing feelings is a skill that has been taught and learned since childhood. Unfortunately, some children do not find a safe family environment to express their emotions. If someone grows up in an environment where emotions are not encouraged, they are likely to face difficulties with emotional expression
How To Get Comfortable About Sharing Your Feelings?
It can be challenging to talk about your feelings, especially when you are just starting the process. However, one can take steps and get better at it. Some strategies for that are:
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Accept Your Feelings
The journey to finding comfort in emotional sharing often begins from within. Thus, start getting comfortable and accepting your own feelings. Recognize that feelings are natural and healthy and that talking about feelings can lead to deeper emotional connections. When you accept your feelings, it is easier to share them with others
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Identify Your Challenge
There are reasons why people choose not to share their feelings. Start reflecting and identifying why you might be finding it difficult to talk about your feelings. Once you identify what holds you back, you can slowly start working on changing it.
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Remember, It Takes Time
Everyone has their own way of feeling comfortable in relationships, and it’s completely okay for you to take your time and build that comfort with others before you open up to them. So don’t pressurise yourself into talking about your feelings until you feel comfortable, as learning emotional expression skills also takes time.
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Seek Professional Help
If you experience significant difficulties talking about your feelings, it might be a good idea to consult a trained therapist for the same. A therapist can help you discover the root causes of the discomfort and also help you develop emotional expression skills.
Conclusion:
Talking about your feelings and sharing them with others is quite challenging, but remember that it can be overcome as well. Our comfort around sharing our feelings depends on factors such as societal norms, upbringing, personality, past experiences, etc. One can overcome this challenge by addressing fears around judgement and learning to accept their emotions. It is a process that takes time, so remember to be patient and kind to yourself through the journey.
References:
- B.Sc, V. S. & B.A. (2020, November 27). How to Open up to People. SocialSelf. https://socialself.com/blog/open-up/
- Feeling Stuck? How to Express Your Feelings. (2016, May 17). Psych Central. https://psychcentral.com/lib/feeling-stuck-how-to-express-your-feelings
- Why Do You Find It Difficult to Open Up to Others? (2022, September 22). Exploring Your Mind. https://exploringyourmind.com/why-do-you-find-it-difficult-to-open-up-to-others/
