Love recognises no barriers. It jumps hurdles, leaps fences, penetrates walls to arrive at its destination full of hope.’
– Maya Angelou
Love and relationships can be beautiful, bringing a sense of support and happiness; however, they aren’t always easy. Even the most loving relationships can go through ups and downs. This is where couples therapy can help. This article will give you a brief overview of what happens in couples therapy, how it helps and when you should consider seeing a couples therapist.
What is couples therapy?
Couples therapy is a type of psychotherapy in which a licensed therapist works with couples to create a safe and supportive environment that facilitates open and honest conversations between them. The goal of couples therapy is to help partners gain insight into their relationship dynamics, deeper emotions, resolve conflicts, and enhance their relationship satisfaction through a variety of therapeutic interventions.
Typically, couples therapy focuses on:
- Addressing specific issues such as trust, intimacy, jealousy, or family conflicts.
- Treating the relationship itself as the client, rather than each partner individually.
- Using practical, solution-focused techniques to promote meaningful change early in the process.
- Establishing clear, shared goals that both partners work toward together.
Why should you go for couples therapy?
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Gain a deeper understanding of your relationship dynamic
A major benefit is that you can begin to really understand your relationship dynamics. How do you communicate and navigate through conflict? Do you fall into any negative communication patterns? Are your conflicts centered around the same issues?
All of these questions can help you gain a deeper insight into your relationship and individual needs, while also providing a path to strengthen the bond between you and your partner.
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Begin to see each other’s perspectives
It’s common and normal to see a relationship through our own perspective. Many times, we are so overwhelmed by our emotions that we struggle to see our partner’s point of view. It’s not about being selfish, but it’s natural to have a deeper understanding of our own perspective.
A therapist can help you objectively look at both sides of a disagreement while also helping you work through miscommunication, empowering you to resolve current and future conflicts together.
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Clarify your feelings about the relationship
You may begin therapy believing that you’ll do whatever it takes to heal the relationship and stay together. You might also come to therapy wondering if your relationship is salvageable. Either way, therapy can help you explore, understand, and clarify your feelings.
A therapist can help you and your partner decide what you want moving forward and then give you strategic ways to reach those relationship goals. Whether this means parting ways or figuring out what it’ll take to make the relationship work, a huge benefit of couples counselling can be clarifying your feelings.
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Deepen your intimacy and connection with your partner
One of the biggest benefits of couples counselling is the effect it can have on intimacy and a connection with your partner. Emotional and physical intimacy is a common problem for many relationships, especially when you’ve been together for a long time, and it feels like that spark has dimmed.
Focusing on each other’s wants, needs, and desires is important, but there’s more to it than just the physical side of a relationship. Working on communication and respect in therapy can allow the intimacy aspect to follow, often naturally.
‘Strong couples give their best selves to one another, not the leftovers after the world is done with them.’
When should couples go to therapy?
Most people go to couples therapy when intimacy or communication is stuck and perhaps on life support. The couple is usually at a crossroads, not knowing how to move forward or if they even want to move forward anymore.
Healthy couples can benefit from couples therapy too, as it’s an opportunity to improve connection and communication.
Some common signs that indicate the need for couples therapy are:
- Poor communication with your partner
- Feelings of boredom or numbness about your relationship
- Wanting to learn how to have healthy conflict
- Having the same fight over and over again without a resolution
- A desire to improve your relationship
- Feeling distant from your partner
- Feeling like you’re not getting something you need (for example, time or affection)
- Tackling a big life event (like moving, a new job, or a tough decision)
- Managing the transition from couplehood to new parenthood
- Managing the transition from parenthood to empty nesting
- The presence of a betrayal (an affair or unfaithfulness)
Conclusion:
In summary, couples therapy can benefit any couple who wants to improve their communication and connection. Couples therapy can help you develop a deeper understanding of your relationship while also providing you with a space to explore and understand each other’s perspectives. If you are struggling with conflicts, transitions or any other issues in your relationship, you might want to consider seeing a couples therapist. If you are considering couples therapy, click here to start your journey with Mind Voyage
Want to learn more about couples therapy? Click here to know why you should explore couples therapy
References:
- Johnson S, Hunsley J, Greenberg L, Schindler D. Emotionally focused couples therapy: Status and challenges. Clinical Psychology: Science and Practice. 2006;6(1):67-79. doi:10.1093/clipsy.6.1.67. https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1093/clipsy.6.1.67
- About Marriage and Family Therapists. Aamft.org. https://www.aamft.org/About_AAMFT/About_Marriage_and_Family_Therapists.aspx
