Love and affection can be communicated in many different ways. We all show our affection in different ways, but very often we forget to think about the way the other person would want to receive this affection. Because very naturally, “we love the way we want to be loved.”

Gary Chapman, an American author, realized that what couples really wanted from each other fell into five categories. He called these “The 5 Love Languages.”  According to him, learning each other’s love language can help couples express their emotions in a way that’s “deeply meaningful” to one another.

‘Love can be expressed and received in all five languages. However, if you don’t speak a person’s primary love language, that person will not feel loved, even though you may be speaking the other four. Once you are speaking his or her primary love language fluently, you can sprinkle in the other four, and they will be like icing on the cake.

Here’s a brief overview of the 5 love languages-

#1 Words of Affirmation

People with this love language value verbal acknowledgements of appreciation and affection. Compliments, verbal encouragement, love letters and often frequent digital communication like texting and social media engagement go a long way with these people. Written and spoken forms of verbal appreciation matter the most to these people.

#2 Quality time

People whose love language is quality time feel the most adored when their partner actively wants to spend time with them and is always ready to hang out. They particularly love it when active listening, eye contact, and full presence are the cornerstones of the relationship. These people have a strong desire to actively spend time with their significant other. 

#3 Acts of service

This type of love language is mainly for those who believe that actions speak louder than words. They are likely to feel loved when their partner does small things to make their life easier. Small acts of service, such as making a cup of coffee or breakfast in the morning, and helping with household chores, are highly appreciated by these kinds of people. 

#4 Gifts

Gifts are a straightforward and common love language: You feel loved when people give you “visual symbols of love,” as Chapman calls them. It’s not about the price of the gift but the symbolic thought behind the item. People with this style value the gift-giving process: the careful reflection, the deliberate choice of the object to represent the relationship and the emotional benefits of receiving the present. Moreover, every time they see the gift, they will be reminded that they are loved by someone. 

#5 Physical Touch

These people prefer physical, non-verbal expressions of love rather than gift-giving/receiving and verbal compliments. Physical touch as a love language is not necessarily all about sex, although sex can be an important aspect of a romantic relationship for some. A hug, a shoulder squeeze, caressing hair or even a pat on the back can be an expression of love that is meaningful to your partner.


Understanding and speaking your partner’s love language is crucial for a deep and meaningful connection. You can learn more about your partner’s love language through observations and by asking them questions about how they feel loved and appreciated. It is also important to remember that knowing your partner’s love language may require patience and collaboration, so give yourself and your partner ample time to explore each other’s love languages.


1. Watson, S. (n.d.). 5 Love Languages, 7 Days, 1 Couple. WebMD. Retrieved March 1, 2024, from
2. Why Everyone’s Talking About Love Languages These Days & How To Find Yours. (2020, May 19). Mindbodygreen.

Sakshi is a Psychologist with expertise in research and writing, she can make the most complex topic sound simple! She has completed MSC in Counselling Studies from the University of Edinburgh, Scotland. Also, She loves books and music and forgets the world once earphones are plugged in.