Are you considering marriage counselling but unsure what to expect? You’re not alone. The first session can feel scary. Many couples wonder what the process will look like and what kind of questions a marriage counsellor might ask them during the initial sessions. Knowing what to expect can help you feel prepared and more comfortable as you take steps toward a healthier, stronger relationship.
What Questions To Expect During Marriage and Couples Counselling?
Questions about your goals and expectations
Marriage counselling typically begins with understanding your expectations from the process.. Goals provide a direction and help the counselor understand what you hope to achieve together.
A few questions your counsellor may ask to explore your goals are:
- What brings you to marriage counselling?
- What do you hope to achieve by the end of the process?
- Are there any specific issues you would like to address?
Individual relationship history
Past experiences can sometimes influence your current relationships, and understanding past relationship patterns may help your counselor to identify the root cause of present issues as well.
Some of these questions may include:
- How did you two meet? What attracted you towards each other?
- Have you faced any challenges in your relationships before? How did you overcome them?
- What are your relationship’s most significant and memorable events that deepened your connection?
Communication patterns in your relationship
Effective communication is key to a healthy relationship. Your counsellor may ask how you and your partner express your feelings, manage differences, and listen to each other. These questions help identify areas where communication might be breaking down and how it can be rebuilt
Some examples of communication-related questions are
- What makes you and your partner feel heard?
- How do you usually express your feelings towards each other?
- Are there any topics that lead to frequent communication breakdowns?
Questions about conflicts and arguments
Every married couple experiences conflict in their relationship, but the way they manage that conflict can significantly impact the quality of their relationship. Thus, understanding conflict patterns in your relationship will help your counselor empower you with healthier ways of communication and conflict management.
Some of these questions are:
- How do you typically handle conflicts?
- What are some of the issues that appear repeatedly in your conflicts?
- What are some things you’d like to improve when it comes to conflict management?
Questions about emotional intimacy
A strong emotional connection is the foundation of a lasting relationship. Your counsellor may explore how you support each other and whether both partners feel emotionally fulfilled. These questions will be crucial to building trust and strengthening your emotional bond as a couple
A few examples of emotional intimacy-related questions are:
- How do you support each other during difficult times?
- Do you feel supported by your partner?
- Are there any emotional needs that are not being met?
Your needs and expectations from your relationship
Every couple has some needs and expectations from their relationship, and when these expectations are unmet, they can lead to frustration and conflict. Identifying unmet needs can uncover repressed emotions and help in deeper, meaningful conversations.
Here are a few questions your counsellor might ask
- What kind of support do you want from your partner?
- Are there any unsaid expectations that might be creating tensions in the relationship?
- How do these unmet expectations make you feel about your partner and your relationship?
Aspirations for the future
Finally, your counselor may ask you some questions about your future goals and aspirations to determine if you and your partner have similar long-term visions for your relationship. Building a shared vision can motivate you and your partner to work towards improving your relationship.
Some questions your counsellor may ask are:
- How do you envision the future of your relationship?
- What are your long-term goals as a couple?
Conclusion:
Marriage counselling is a process designed to help couples develop healthier relationships. A marriage counselor asks questions about several topics, including your goals for therapy, your relationship history, communication styles, conflict management strategies, expectations, intimacy, and plans. This helps them gain a comprehensive understanding of your relationship dynamics to create a personalized treatment plan that meets your needs. The important part to remember is that there are no right or wrong answers to any of the questions, so answer them freely to make the most of your marriage counselling journey.
Want to explore marriage counselling in a safe and supportive environment? Click here to book a session with our trained couples therapist and take the first step towards a stronger connection with your partner.
References:
- Louis Laves-Webb, LCSW, LPC-S & Associates. (2023). Louislaves-Webb.com. https://www.louislaves-webb.com/blog/questions-asked-in-marriage-counseling
- LPC, M. R. P. (2020, March 11). Marriage Counseling: All You Need to Know. Talkspace. https://www.talkspace.com/blog/marriage-counseling-guide-couples-therapy/
- M, P. (2024, May 7). Your First Session in Marriage Counseling: What to Expect. WellnessHub. https://www.mywellnesshub.in/blog/marriage-counseling-session
