In recent years, particularly after the pandemic, India and the world in general have experienced an increased emphasis on mental health, therapy and self-care. While an increase in mental health awareness is certainly a positive, this shift has also led to the misunderstanding and misuse of therapy language. or therapy talk, leading many people to wonder if therapy talk is making us more self-centred or selfish. This article explores this question in depth. while also exploring ways to use therapy talk responsibly.
Understanding The Misinterpretation Of ‘Therapy Talk’
It is important to note that therapy inherently does not encourage people to be selfish, rather, it encourages people to set appropriate boundaries and practice self-care in appropriate ways. However, sometimes therapy talk can be misunderstood or misused, leading to unintended self-centered behaviors. Let’s explore how:
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Promoting Unhealthy Behaviors As Self-Care
Taking care of oneself is essential for maintaining mental and emotional well-being. However, when taken to extremes, self-care might be misused to justify unhealthy habits or behaviours. For instance, someone might regularly consume alcohol or smoke a few cigarettes as a part of their self-care routines, or someone might cancel plans last minute. without considering the inconvenience caused to others, citing self-care. True self-care involves balance. between prioritizing one’s needs without disregarding the needs of others.
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Misusing Boundaries
Setting boundaries is crucial for maintaining healthy relationships. However, when boundaries are set without considering the perspectives of others, it can come across as self-centred. For instance, someone might stop communicating with a friend without any explanation while trying to protect their peace or set a boundary. While cutting people off can be effective in one-sided or unhealthy friendships, healthy friendships require flexibility and mutually considerate boundaries.
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Using Therapy Terms To Label Others
Therapy terms like “toxic,” “narcissistic,” or “gaslighting” are increasingly used in everyday conversation. While these terms are useful to understand certain behaviours, they are often misused to dismiss others without trying to understand their actions. So these words can easily be misused to judge or label others. For example, labelling someone as ‘toxic’ when they have a different opinion about some topic A difference of opinion is a normal part of relationships and doesn’t mean that the other person is toxic in any way.
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Using Personality To Justify Unhealthy Patterns
Acknowledging specific personality traits is important for personal growth. However, when these are used to excuse or justify harmful behaviours, they can hurt one’s relationships. For instance, someone might regularly skip friends or family meet-ups because they are an ‘introvert. While understanding one’s personality is crucial, awareness can help build coping mechanisms, rather than use them to avoid relationships or responsibilities.
How To Use Therapy Talk Constructively?
Therapy talk can be used constructively in several ways, such as:
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Set Healthy Boundaries
Establish boundaries that protect your well-being while also respecting others. This might involve open communication and finding a middle ground that works for everyone involved.
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Practice Open Communication And Listening
While setting boundaries is important, it is equally important to understand how it impacts others around you. So, have an open conversation with others and understand their perspectives as you go about setting boundaries. This will promote healthy relationships.
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Understand Behaviours Before Labelling
Rather than labelling people based on their behavior or a few actions, give yourself more time to understand their personalities and behaviors in depth. This again leads to deeper connections while avoiding generalizations.
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Take Accountability
While it’s good to be aware of one’s triggers and personality, use the awareness to take responsibility for one’s actions, and to move towards change. This can help in personal growth.
Conclusion:
While the normalization of therapy language has been positive in recent years, therapy language has been subjected to a lot of misuse and misinterpretation, leading to the perception that therapy might be encouraging people to be selfish. However, using therapy language thoughtfully, responsibility and compassion can help people build better relationships and move towards personal growth.
References:
- Is Therapy-Speak Making Us Selfish? (2024, February 20). Bustle. https://www.bustle.com/wellness/is-therapy-speak-making-us-selfish
- Neo, D. P. (2023, August 16). Is Therapy Speak Making Us Selfish? How To Do It Healthily? Dr Perpetua Neo. https://www.perpetuaneo.com/is-therapy-speak-selfish/
- Sorry Not Sorry, But Cutting Your Friends Off For Venting Isn’t Self-Care. (2023, April 14). Friday Things. https://www.fridaythings.com/recent-posts/therapy-speak-selfish-relationships-self-care
- Thomasinarina. (2023, April 9). Is therapy making us selfish? [Reddit Post]. R/AskWomenOver30. www.reddit.com/r/AskWomenOver30/comments/12gng4b/is_therapy_making_us_selfish/
