Parents are the most influential figures as we grow in our childhood, and most parents try their best to raise their children with love and care. However, some parents may intentionally or unknowingly cause harm to children with their parenting methods. While physical abuse is easy to recognize, emotional abuse, on the other hand, can be subtle, making it difficult to identify. This article sheds light on a few common signs of emotionally abusive parents.
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Setting Unrealistic Expectations
One of the most common signs of emotionally abusive parents is that they often set unrealistic expectations for their children, almost expecting them to be perfect across various aspects such as academics, sports or personal behaviour. When children naturally fall short, these parents may react with harsh criticism. This can make children fearful of making mistakes, leading to problems of anxiety and low self-esteem.
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Constant Criticism
Sometimes criticism can be helpful if provided in appropriate ways with proper explanation. However, abusive parents often use extreme language while criticizing and often questioning the child’s character instead of focusing on their actions. When criticism is harsh and constant, it can lead to feelings of shame and worthlessness for the child.
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Blaming The Child
Some parents may project their own frustrations and failures onto the child, often blaming the child for their own issues. For instance-parents may blame the child for conflicts within their relationships, saying things like ‘ We wouldn’t have argued so much, only if you were a good child’. Such statements are often emotionally damaging, leaving lasting mental scars for children.
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Comparing Children
Emotionally abusive parents may use comparison as a form of manipulation to make the child feel small or inadequate. In some cases, they may even encourage unhealthy comparisons and competition between siblings, leading to feelings of jealousy among children.
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Withholding Affection
Affection in the form of physical touch, such as hugs, and even encouraging words is essential to the healthy development of children. However, abusive parents often use a lack of affection as a form of punishment. or control. This may make children feel unlovable, leaving them desperate for parental acceptance and approval.
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Isolating The Child
While parents need to safeguard children from strangers or unwanted influences, emotionally abusive parents may actively try to isolate children from their friends or family members to maintain control over them. This can be a subtle yet significant form of abuse, leaving the child with little to no support outside the household and can also lead to issues such as social anxiety.
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Gaslighting
Gaslighting is a subtle form of manipulation where abusive parents try to consistently deny or distort reality, often making the child question their own feelings or perceptions. For example, a parent may deny saying hurtful things or accuse the child of overreacting, leading to confusion and self-doubt.
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Guilting and Threatening Children
Safety and security are essential to the mental, physical and emotional health of children. However, abusive parents may use guilt as a weapon, making the child feel responsible for the parent’s unhappiness. They might also make threats to leave or punish children to control their behaviour. This can again harm the self-esteem and confidence of growing children.
What To Do If You Have An Abusive Parent?
If you suspect that your parent is emotionally abusive, it is essential to develop safe spaces that offer emotional support outside the household. Focus on building a strong group of friends and extended family members. Additionally, focus on building your confidence and self-care. Do not hesitate to seek help from a mental health professional.
Conclusion:
It can be overwhelming and painful to experience emotional abuse from a parent, but identifying signs of abuse can be a crucial step towards recovery. If you notice yourself or anyone of your loved ones going through emotional abuse from parents, it is advisable to reach out for support at the earliest so that you can take constructive steps towards healing and reclaiming your well-being
References:
- AS. (2025, January 21). Recognizing Signs of Emotionally Abusive Parents. Avisa Recovery. https://avisarecovery.com/blog/emotionally-abusive-parents/
- Emotional and Psychological Abuse. (2017, January 26). WomensLaw.Org. https://www.womenslaw.org/about-abuse/forms-abuse/emotional-and-psychological-abuse
- Signs of Emotional Abuse From Parents. (n.d.). Verywell Mind. Retrieved April 1, 2025, from https://www.verywellmind.com/signs-of-emotional-abuse-from-parents-6361669
