Are you in an unhealthy relationship and finding it difficult to leave? If so, there are chances that you are stuck in something known as a trauma bond. A trauma bond is an emotional connection formed between two people who are in a highly abusive or dysfunctional relationship. In such relationships, one person is abused, with the other being an abuser. Trauma bonds can form in any kind of relationship, including family, siblings, friends and romantic partners.
Breaking and healing from a trauma bond can be incredibly difficult, even when people are aware that they might be in an unhealthy relationship. However, one can start healing from a trauma bond in various ways, let’s explore them in the article below
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Self- Awareness
The first step to healing from a trauma bond is to recognize the signs that you are in one. Start by reflecting on your relationship and understanding how it could be affecting your physical, emotional and mental health. Educate yourself on the differences between healthy and unhealthy relationships, so that you can understand your relationship in-depth. Also, look for any harmful behaviours that you might be discounting. Self-awareness will help you move forward in your healing journey,
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Set Boundaries
Boundaries are essential in healthy relationships, however they are even more important in a trauma bond. Boundaries can help you protect yourself from further harm. By protecting your emotional space. You can set boundaries by assertively communicating your needs and expectations to the other person. Also, let them know your limits, what works for you, and what doesn’t in the relationship.
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Create Distance
If the other person pushes back or uses aggression in response to your boundaries or needs, it is important to prioritize your safety by creating physical and emotional distance from the other person. This distance can help you step back and reduce the intensity of the trauma bond, while also allowing you to focus on healing yourself. Consider taking a break from the relationship to give yourself some space.
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Don’t Blame
It can be tough to accept and cope when you realize you have been in an unhealthy relationship or a trauma bond, Sometimes this realization can lead to self-blame. However, blame keeps you stuck in the past and prevents healing. Instead, focus on understanding the root causes of trauma bonds and the patterns that might have contributed to it, without judgement. Letting go of blame, can help increase self-compassion.
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Build Your Identity
Trauma bonds can often have a deep impact on one’s self and identity, Thus, rebuilding your identity is a crucial part of healing from a trauma bond. Spend time in activities and cultivate hobbies that suit your interests and passions. Reconnect with any friends and social groups that support your personal growth. Rebuilding your sense of self can help weaken the trauma bond.
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Feel Your Feelings
Breaking or disconnecting from a trauma bond can lead to feelings of sadness, guilt, grief, anger and even shame. Allow yourself to feel these emotions without judgment. If feelings are too intense or difficult, consider seeking help from a frustrated friend or family member. Allowing and accepting your emotions will help you heal.
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Seek Support From Loved Ones
Surrounding yourself with supportive friends and family is vital during this process. Trusted loved ones can offer perspective and support, while also reducing loneliness.
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Self-Compassion
Practicing self-compassion is essential when healing from a trauma bond. Be gentle with yourself, and recognize that breaking free from this kind of relationship is challenging. Engage in self-care activities that help your mind and body heal. This might include exercise, healthy eating, mindfulness practices, or anything that brings you joy.
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Seek Professional Help
Healing from a trauma bond on your own can sometimes feel quite overwhelming. If you see yourself struggling, it might be helpful to reach out to a therapist. A therapist can provide tools and support to heal.
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Couple’s Therapy
If both partners are committed to healing and changing the dynamics of the relationship, couple’s therapy can be helpful. A skilled therapist can help identify and break unhealthy patterns in the relationship. However, this process requires honesty, openness, and a commitment to change from both partners.
Conclusion:
Healing from a trauma bond can be incredibly challenging and requires effort and patience. One can heal from a trauma bond by building self-awareness, setting boundaries, creating distance and taking various other steps such as reclaiming one’s identity, accepting one’s feelings and seeking professional help. Lastly, it is important to be kind to yourself through the process.
References::
- GoodTherapy | 10 Steps to Recovering from a Toxic Trauma … (n.d.). Retrieved August 7, 2024, from https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/10-steps-to-recovering-from-toxic-trauma-bond-0110175
- How to Break a Trauma Bond: 13 Steps From a Therapist. (n.d.). Retrieved August 7, 2024, from https://www.choosingtherapy.com/how-to-break-a-trauma-bond/
- How to Heal from a Trauma Bond Relationship—Mental Health. (2022, February 18). https://apn.com/resources/how-to-heal-from-a-trauma-bond-relationship/
- Recovering From a Trauma Bond. (2018, October 12). Psych Central. https://psychcentral.com/relationships/trauma-bonding-recovery
