What comes to mind when you hear the word separation anxiety? You might be thinking of kids struggling to be away from their parents. But what if I tell you that separation anxiety is not something that only kids experience, but it can happen in adult relationships as well? So, you aren’t alone if you experience overwhelming distress when your boyfriend is away.
It’s quite normal for many people to struggle with separation anxiety, but the good news is that this anxiety can be managed with various strategies. Here are some ways you can overcome separation anxiety in your relationship
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Recognize the signs of separation anxiety
The first step to overcoming separation anxiety is acknowledging your feelings and identifying it’s signs. Some common signs of separation anxiety include: having difficulty being apart from your boyfriend; excessive worry when they aren’t around, having a constant urge to know their whereabouts; and a persistent fear of losing them Recognizing these signs early on can help you find ways to prevent them from impacting the relationship.
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Talk to your partner
Once you identify signs of separation anxiety, it is important to communicate these feelings openly with your partner. Let your partner know how their absence impacts you and how they can support you in overcoming these feelings. Seeking support from your partner and keeping them informed will help your relationship.
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Set healthy boundaries
It is natural to want a consistent connection with your partner, especially when the relationship is in its early stages. However, constantly seeking reassurance from your partner or constantly calling or texting them can become an unhealthy pattern.
Thus, practice setting healthy boundaries that allow you to stay connected while also maintaining independence. Discuss what works for both of you to agree on these boundaries mutually.
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Focus on the facts
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Journal your thoughts
Writing your thoughts is a powerful way to manage feelings of anxiety. Journaling increases your awareness of your thoughts, making it easier for you to identify the triggers for your anxiety. It can also be used to reflect on healthier coping mechanisms and track your progress over time.
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Boost your confidence
Quite often, separation anxiety stems from a fear of abandonment or being alone. In such instances, it can be helpful to work towards building self-confidence. Reflect on the positive aspects of your personality and what you bring to your relationship. This will help you feel good about yourself. Additionally, practice healthy hobbies and positive affirmations to further your confidence.
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Practice Self-care
Many times, anxiety can be so overwhelming that it starts impacting one’s physical and mental well-being. In such instances, it is essential to go back to the basics and focus on self-care. Build a self-care routine that allows you to get enough sleep, eat healthy meals, and exercise. Self-care will enhance one’s physical health and overall confidence.
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Seek professional help
If your separation anxiety feels overwhelming and begins affecting your daily life, consider seeking support from a therapist. A therapist will help you identify the root of your anxiety and provide coping strategies tailored to your needs, helping you build a secure relationship with your partner over time.
Conclusion:
While separation anxiety is generally associated with children, it is quite normal for many adults to experience separation anxiety in their romantic relationships. Coping with separation anxiety requires time and patience, but with self-awareness, support from your partner, healthy boundaries and timely help from a therapist, you can ensure that this anxiety doesn’t harm your relationship with your boyfriend. Remember to take care of yourself and prioritize personal growth along the journey.
References:
- Coping With Separation Anxiety in Relationships. (n.d.). Verywell Mind. Retrieved February 20, 2025, from https://www.verywellmind.com/coping-with-separation-anxiety-in-relationships-5207904
- How to Deal with Separation Anxiety in Relationships. (2022, May 18). Psych Central. https://psychcentral.com/anxiety/separation-anxiety-in-relationships
- How To Deal With Separation Anxiety In Relationships. (2023, March 30). https://wellbeingscounselling.ca/how-to-deal-with-separation-anxiety-in-relationships/
- Separation Anxiety in Relationships: Signs, Causes, & How to Cope. (n.d.). ChoosingTherapy.Com. Retrieved February 20, 2025, from https://www.choosingtherapy.com/separation-anxiety-in-relationships/
