Couples therapy is a valuable resource for couples facing relationship challenges. Not only that, but it can also help couples develop healthy communication and deeper connections. However, many couples resist couples therapy, thinking that it might be ‘’too late’’ for them to seek therapy. In this article, we’ll explore if it is ever too late to start couples therapy.
The Importance Of Timing In Couples Therapy
Dr. John Gottman, a notable psychologist and marriage researcher, discovered that an average couple waits six years to seek therapy for serious relationship issues. The longer a couple waits to seek help, the longer it can take for them to see results or improvements. Thus, timing plays a crucial role in the overall effectiveness and impact of a couple’s therapy.
It is also important to understand that it’s never too late to seek help. While some couples may benefit from therapy early on in their relationship when issues first arise, other couples may wait until issues have escalated before they approach a couples therapist for help. Regardless, of when a couple decides to go for therapy, it is the commitment that matters in the end. It’s never too late if both partners are willing to change and commit to the therapy process.
Understanding The Importance Of Commitment In Couple’s Therapy
As discussed before, commitment is an integral part of the couple’s therapy process. In fact, commitment from both partners plays a major role in the success of the therapy process. A few signs of commitment are:
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Accountability
Accountability is crucial to the success of couples therapy. Accountability is when both partners are willing to take responsibility for their roles in the relationship conflict and are open to making the necessary changes.
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Open Communication
Communication is the backbone of a healthy relationship. One of the major goals of couples therapy is to improve communication among partners. When both partners are willing to communicate and listen to each other’s concerns about the relationship with an open mind, the therapy process is likely to be beneficial
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Patience
Couples therapy is a process, and it generally takes a few sessions to see significant growth or changes. Thus, it requires long-term commitment and effort from both partners. When both partners are willing to be patient with each other, the therapy process is more likely to be successful.
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Consistency With Homework
Homework is an integral part of the therapy process. It helps couples to apply what they have learned from therapy sessions to real-life situations in the outside world. Homework is also an indicator of progress. When both partners are willing to participate in homework exercises, they are likely to see progress.
Are There Situations Where Couples Therapy Is Less Effective?
Thus far we have talked about the importance of timing and commitment from partners in a couple’s therapy. However, there are a few situations where couples therapy is less likely to be effective. They are:
- One or both partners are blaming each other and are unwilling to take accountability for their roles in the conflict.
- There is a lack of respect and ongoing violence in the relationship
- One or both partners are unwilling to be honest with each other
- One partner is disinterested in therapy or has already withdrawn from the relationship
- There is ongoing infidelity in the relationship.
In one of the previous articles, we talked in-depth about a few situations where couples therapy might not be effective.
Conclusion:
In summary, it is never too late to start couples therapy when both partners are committed and are willing to invest time and make their relationship a priority. Taking accountability, being patient, having open communication and being regular with sessions and homework are a few signs of commitment
References:
- Hoskins, L. (2022, March 24). Is There Such Thing as “Too Late” for Couples Therapy? Lindsey Hoskins & Associates. https://lindseyhoskins.com/is-there-such-thing-as-too-late-for-couples-therapy/
- Is Couples Therapy Still Worth a Shot? Here’s What You Should Consider. (n.d.). Verywell Mind. Retrieved March 21, 2024, from https://www.verywellmind.com/is-it-too-late-for-couples-therapy-5191478
