It’s normal for all of us to want a little reassurance once in a while, especially when you are struggling through a difficult time. But for someone suffering from obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), reassurance seeking can become a compulsive pattern in itself, whether it’s asking a friend again and again if everything is going to be okay or checking if they have locked the house before leaving. And over time, this need for reassurance can become distressing, even causing dysfunction.
In this article, we’ll look at a few ways in which people with OCD can break this reassurance-seeking cycle and feel empowered.
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Understand the reassurance-seeking cycle
While normal reassurance seeking is confined to one or two times, reassurance seeking in OCD is a way to soothe anxiety. And the painful part is that the anxiety returns at some point, forcing you to go back to others for reassurance, creating a vicious cycle.
Noticing this cycle can help you take steps to break it. So, the next time you want to seek reassurance, gently pause and ask yourself- Is it going to help me or give me only temporary relief?
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Notice your triggers
Once you have understood the reassurance cycle, the next step is to notice any specific situations or triggers that lead to excessive reassurance seeking. Make note of when you seek reassurance. What questions do you ask? Who do you generally need reassurance from? Gaining awareness of these patterns will help you understand reassurance seeking in depth.
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Recognise the impact of reassurance seeking
As we discussed above, reassurance may feel good in the moment, but it offers only temporary relief. Over time, seeking constant reassurance only lowers confidence. increases doubt and perpetuates OCD symptoms. It might also hurt your relationships, especially if you rely on your loved ones constantly for reassurance, as they may feel drained over time.
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Seek support from loved ones
Sometimes, it is difficult to stop seeking reassurance, especially when you are feeling emotionally overwhelmed. At such times, ask your loved ones for a gentle reminder when they see you falling into a pattern. This does two important things- it increases your awareness, and it also prevents your loved ones from unintentionally validating unhelpful behaviour.
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Learn to sit with uncertainty
At the core of it, OCD thrives on uncertainties and ‘what ifs.’ What if I go out and contact germs? What if I unintentionally hurt my loved ones? These kinds of questions generally keep the compulsions going. However, the unfortunate truth is, no matter how much we may want certainty, we can’t be 100% certain all the time. Thus, learning to manage uncertainty is a key skill in OCD.
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Use emotional regulation techniques
An effective way to manage uncertainty and difficult emotions that lead to reassurance-seeking behaviours is to practice emotional regulation techniques such as deep breathing and naming five things you see in the environment, or visualising a safe space or a happy memory in your mind. These techniques help you come back to the present moment and break the cycle of anxious thoughts.
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Challenge negative thoughts
Whenever an intrusive thought pops up, try to challenge it gently by asking questions like, Is this thought based on any evidence? Have I faced a similar situation before and been okay? Challenging your thoughts encourages realistic thinking and empowerment instead of relying on reassurance
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Trust your senses and judgment.
The more you challenge your intrusive thoughts, the more you will be able to trust your insight and judgment. Start by making small decisions without asking for reassurance, and notice how the situation turns out fine and not so catastrophic in the end. This will help build your confidence.
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Seek professional help
Dealing with reassurance seeking in OCD can be incredibly overwhelming. So, consider seeking help from a therapist specifically trained in OCD-related therapies such as ERP and CBT. These therapy modalities can help you build coping skills to reduce reassurance seeking.
Conclusion:
Breaking the reassurance-seeking pattern in OCD can be uncomfortable, but it is possible. It starts by noticing your triggers, followed by gentle support from loved ones, along with developing the capacity to tolerate uncertainty. The key is to develop emotional regulation skills and trust in your own senses so that you can challenge intrusive thoughts and feel empowered. When your mind starts trusting your judgment, you will reach out to others only for connection and support without constantly needing reassurance.
References:
- OCD & Reassurance Seeking: Understanding the Connection. (n.d.). ChoosingTherapy.Com. Retrieved July 26, 2025, from https://www.choosingtherapy.com/ocd-reassurance/
- OCD: How to Stop Reassurance-Seeking. (2016, May 17). Psych Central. https://psychcentral.com/ocd/ocd-and-the-need-for-reassurance
- Reassurance Seeking in OCD and How to Manage It | Psychology Today. (n.d.). Retrieved July 26, 2025, from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/not-where-i-want-to-be-in-life/202301/reassurance-seeking-in-ocd-and-how-to-manage-it
